Discharged from SHC today

Well, it's been one week today, plus a day since Shawna was first admitted to Co. Hospital. She has been in ICU in Scottsdale since Thurs. and Now we are at Tues. I hated to do this but had no option other than plan her funeral. I petitioned the Courts for a psych eval. and Court ordered treatment plan. After what I've been thru - Man!! Eating her sheets thinking it was a chicken sandwich, trying to swallow her oxygen gizmo so that had to put it on her toe and try to chew the 5 wires to her pic line into her hear into because it was a chicken leg. Scott drove me down to Mesa to pickup her belongings at the rehab because the dr. says that this isn't right for her at this time. I'm hoping after the eval. we can step forward and keep her sane and sober and clean. The tremors were horrible this time. Lee was up to see her for about 10 mins. It was mostly ME, once again!! I have to ask myself, Why???? I suppose I love her so much that it is the only thing I can do when feeling so helpless as a MOM. Was exhausted last nite and slept for 11 1/2 hrs. I think emotionally and mentally that I just crashed. She is so terribly verbally abusive when she is drinking or still has alcohol in her. I got a taste of that tonight and decided after 30 mins. it was time to leave. Life does go on. I keep praying for stength and guidance.

What a week!!!

It's Sunday and Shawna is now in ICU Scottsdale/Shea. Last Tues. she called and asked to be taken to Comm.Bridges to detox. Lee drove him over to take her in her own car (so Rick wouldn't be driving it all over). Anyway, Bridges would not accept her because she was too sick and sent her to the Co.Hospital. She was admitted for less than 48 hours!! I spoke to a Fred who informed that the St.of AZ has no rehab for ACHSS patients. Lee and I picked her and drove her directly to Foundation for New Beginnings. With in 24 hours she had seizures and was taken to Mesa General at 7PM. Released 5AM. Back by 2nd ambulance 5PM and with five seizures. Mesa
transported her to Scottsdale/Shea. Very Critical. Did not know Me, Mom or Carol. Retrained. Completely off the wall. The worst Yet. She is withdrawing from alcohol as well as several prescription drugs. Scott says shes seeing Ted Ware again. . .Met with psycharist for about 20-30mins. she is going to place her in a residental psych facility this time at discharge. If necessary, we will petition the Court to be her guardian. I'm overwhelmed with sadness but somehow keep pressing on. I pray that she gets her mind back in time. Phsych: Dr Tricia Crillen

Long Road but Seeing the Light. . .

Yesterday Shawna was discharged from the hospital and we immediately began our search for a rehab. After a dozen calls I found out that AZ does not provide a res. rehab for their patients unless they are SMI. Next step, was to find one with a bed available that we could afford. Finally, a prayer answered - we just started calling going down the list and we were excited to find in Mesa. "Foundation for New Beginnings" It's all female and very structured and a "90-day program". We are using our retirement funds to pay for this but feel we have done everything possible other than paying for a res. rehab. She was anxious at first but after meeting two of the girls, Crystal and Amanda, she seemed to fit right in. We pray that this is the answer for Shawna to have a permanent recovery from alcohol. Just got a call and she threatened to leave if I didn't call the Director and demand that she get the roommate that she had originally chosen. NOPE!! Not going there. I said follow the program and you'll recover. I am not concerned who your roommate is. I did reiterate that IF she walked away that indeed, we would walk in the other direction permanently. I told her Shawna this is not a game. We cannot continue the way we have. I know emotionally and mentally that I'm at the end of my road with her. She will be 34 in two weeks and she reminds me that after all "she is an adult." I will continue to pray for her to have the strength to follow the program and become our old Shawna. Looking forward to brighter days. . . . . . . .

Easter Sunday 3/23/08

What a day!! We were in Prc. prepared to go to services Sat. eve, only to find out not this weekend. Drove back to Phx and Shawna was parked in our driveway. Drunk of course. She is such a disappointment. She and Scott got into it at midnight cursing and yelling at each other as she headed back out to her car. She really thought she would be able to move back in without the rehab??????? It's not going to happen. Lee and I just sat in the l/r in the dark and looked at each other until about 2. We have a real mess and there are no answers. By morning neither of us were in the mood for church or anything else. Very sad. I cleaned up her b/r and what a mess. Just talked to Rick, she's there and he says that he doesn't think she'll ever go to a rehab. So sad. I pray that she sees the path

EASTER

What a day it has been. Went to Prc and planned to go to church up there on Sat. eve. They don't have it this weekend so we drove back down to go to church here. When we got home drunk Shawna was parked in the driveway and no Scott. I called and asked him to be home around 9PM. He got home at 12:15AM. Shawna started ringing the door bell to wake us for ICE. She really wanted to let us know what time Scott got in.

Easter is here and what a wonderful time to celebrate. The last few weeks have been rather stressful for me personally. Last month, Lee's only surviving uncle passed away in Cleveland, so we made a quick trip back. Upon return, up to Prescott to help Lee's mother get settled into an assisted living home. Back to Phoenix to find Shawna admitted "again" to detox from alcohol so she can enter a rehab. Unfortunately, she didn't follow through for the ninth time in the last eight months. This has been extremely heart wrenching for me as her Mom. It is so difficult to understand. I have decided that I can no longer be a part of her disease and must disengage to remain healthy mentally and emotionally myself. However, all prayers are appreciated. Thank you in advance. Today was a "FUN" day. I spent the day with Jean Harper and she was so patient to show me all the tricks of Memory Mixer and Lasting Impressions on the computer. I am so computer illiterate and she never raised her voice -- thanks, Jean!!! I'll spend the rest of the evening playing with my new found software.

OOPS - Continue

I deleted accidently. Anyway, since my last post. . . . My husband , a pilot of 40 years, was hit in the head with a propellor on New Years Eve Day. He was flown into Barrow's ICU and the prognosis was grim, at best. He did not know who I was initially. Being prepared for the worst, I quickly asked anyone and everyone of all faiths to pray for him. This request went nationwide. I am pleased to report that he was released to return to work (not fly) at the end of Jan. His pilot's license will be reviewed in 2 years. I am more convinced than every that the "power of prayer" works. He is 99.9% and we are so blessed. I am thrilled have him back. Thank each of you for the prayers.

Blessings, Cheryl